2010

I’ve been trying to write this post in my head for a long time, and I still don’t know exactly what I want to say. After two and a half years of fighting cancer tooth and nail, we lost our Princess Honeydog on July 27th of 2010. It became clear to us that the tumor was growing in March, and we dedicated the last few months of her life to spending quality time with her, and making her as happy as possible.

I don’t think I’ve ever shared here what Cameron and I did when honey became ill and we decided to pursue an aggressive course of radiation. We knew we would be able to *barely* afford it, but beyond money, our commitment to Honey and her health was to spend as much time with her as possible, and to make sure her needs were always met. Cameron changed his work schedule so that he worked only nights and I worked only days. In the two years she battled cancer, the longest stretch of time Honey was alone was about four hours, and we arranged for a neighbor to stop by. We only went on trips where Honey could come, and traveled separately when it was not an option. Honey has been cross country with us twice, she’s frolicked in all corners of Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, North and South Carolina, seen the Grand Canyon, 4 corners, the painted desert, Carlsbad Caverns, Dollywood (yes really), California, Texas, Arizona, Alabama, and even been rafting on the Nantahala. She’s swum in the Pacific, Atlantic, Gulf, and almost every river, sinkhole and lake we came across. She was our baby, our first priority and our best friend.

Through the last few months of her life, Cameron and I talked knew she would tell us when she was ready to go, and we developed a plan with our vet so she would be as comfortable as possible. Until the end, Honey was full of life and surprises. For her last month we fed her a lamb chop for dinner every night, and she developed her own special way of letting us know that was ‘chop time’ (this involved significant tail wagging and some growling, then leading us to the kitchen. I said SPECIAL, not subtle). And on her last morning she stood up and greeted the vet with a wagging tail. I will miss her every day. I was truly blessed to share my life with her.

2010 :)

I just wanted to do a quick update – Honey had xrays to check for metastasis on December 7 and she was STILL ALL CLEAR!!! This is huge – average survival for this type of cancer post radiation is 1.5 – 2 years. Honey will celebrate her 2 years in February. Over the holidays she went with us to Santa Fe for a week and got to wear sweaters, take rides in the car and eat snow. She loved it. I’ll let you know how her Feb xrays come out, but here are some recent pics of Hun:

With her friend Copper

Snoozing

In the car on the ride to Taos, NM

Exploring with her people :)

Not wild about the deeper snow, but just fine with being held


Overlooking the Rio Grande in northern New Mexico

Summer of the Hunndog - 2009

Honey helping me eat salmon sushi at an outdoor sushi place in Larchmont

Howdy! Summer out here is HOT. I know I should have expected that, it being summer and all, but C’s family came to visit and I was at least 100 every day. I had to arm wrestle a woman at kmart for the last table fan, which we’ve owned for about 5 days and hasn’t been turned off yet. The fires haven’t helped. It was cruddy and smuggy and yeech for a few days, and the station fire was clearly visible from our roof. One of our neighbors also had a heart attack, and since he has Carmine, a 12 year old 65 pound fluffy mutt with a pinched nerve who gets along with Honey, we figured we were the best option for him while his pack was in the hospital recovering. It took about 2 weeks, and by that point Carmine and Honey were well and truly a pack. I was never more than 7 inches from an old hot dog. I’d take a shower and by the time I was finished they’d both be standing in the bathroom looking at me like ‘omg it’s got her, what are we gonna do?!?’ While Carmine was with us, Honey developed a urinary tract infection. She woke me up at about 4 am and asked to go out, which is WAY out of character. I woke C up because I was nervous to go outside at 4 am, and made him promise to watch us from the window while we walked. I got Honey and Carmine on leashes and we went downstairs and out front and while they were sniffing around for a suitable place to tinkle, one of the homeless people who make a living out of collecting cans and turning them in for the recycle fee started yelling at me. I think she wanted to me let in the locked parking lot to go through the building’s recycle bins, but as soon as she shouted and started to walk towards me, both dogs went NUTS. I’ve known Carmine for 3 years and never heard him bark before. Both he and Honey were at the very end of their leashes snarling. I’ve been taking care of Honey and thinking how fragile she is for so long that I totally forgot she was such a good guard dog. When she as about 2, someone tried to break into a house she was staying in, they had unscrewed about half the bars that were over the window, and Honey broke the window out with her nose. I know this because she had a tiny cut, the glass was broken outwards, and the hole in the window was nose-shaped. Needless to say, nobody ever broke in.

Honey on C's chair, on C's shirt, with a ball he gave her in her mouth

Carmine the floofy dog

The most surprising part of all this was that Honey was ok with Carmine in her space. She let us love on him and even let him on the bed (once, and very briefly) but wasn’t at all mean. I have to admit I was worried that she would be sad when Carmine finally went home, but that happened Monday and she doesn’t seem at all fussed, despite the PLAYING they did Sunday and Monday. I was shocked. Normally (well, since cancer) she exists to regulate and prevent play in other dogs, but she did that frisk / front legs down and butt up, tail waving combo in his direction. C witnessed the phenom first and was all ‘LINDSAYOMGCOMEHERERIGHTNOWYOUWONTBELIEVETHIS’ and I almost fainted. It’s been years since I’ve seen her do that to another dog (she does it to us like 3 times a day). She has been having some trouble breathing through her nose lately, and we increased her prednisone to 10 mg a day. This means she gets a charge out of barking at joggers and GOD FORBID a dog walk by on the sidewalk where she can hear its tags jingling. But so far it’s making breathing easier. In fact, I just got a text that says ‘modified ball breathage’ so that’s a step in the right direction J she will sleep for a while with the ball in her mouth, but as soon as it falls out, she wakes us up to make her feel better. Last night I got sleep in 2 hour blocks. Not fun.

Visiting her friend Arnette a month or so ago.

my... what a delightful toy...

She’s also – drumrooooooollll – 20 months out from her diagnosis!! So awesome. She’s actually due for her every three months xrays pretty soon. I’ll update again when I know how her lungs look.

17 months!!

Honey had her every-3-month chest xrays yesterday, and apparently climbed right up on the chair in the waiting room and sat down on it like a person. The doc even examined her while she was sitting in the chair, and gave her some lay's potato chips, that spoiled brat. But the good news is that she's now 17 months out of her original diagnosis, where we were given 3-6 weeks, and her lungs are "fantastically clear" and her lymph nodes are "perfect" and her heart sounds "awesome" (a concern 'cause she's been on prednisone). Also, her energy is great and her coat is all shiny and she's HAPPY, which is the most important part :)

Hunolympian!

We had a big weekend. Saturday we were up before Honey and that weirded her out considerably. But once she figured out she was going with it was all good. We headed up to an estate sale in silverlake, followed by a few stops at garage sales and then breakfast at an outdoor cafe (where she got a whole hard boiled egg) and the farmers market. Saturday was also the day the Dark Knight hit HBO so we spent the evening watching movies. Sunday we just hung out at home, except for a few walks. I was impressed that she was walking on the grass, she usually prefers sidewalk cause she has contact allergies to grass, but instead of her usual half block out-and-turn-around trick, she just kept going. I know a 7 block walk is just about nothing on most dog-walking-scales, but for Hun it's QUITE the walk. We called ehr the olympian for the rest of the day. And she even wated to play fetch yesterday afternoon!

She goes in tomorrow for chest x-rays, her first since having palliative radiation. I'm pretty sure she also needs antibiotics, her nose is pretty stuffed up.

Those strawberries were awesome!

Leaving the farmers market

sleeping on Gus

Must be tough to be the Hundog

Friday Hunday

I was sick yesterday and spent the entire day in bed. Honey helped me by making sure the blankets were firmly held in place and that there were a sufficient number of balls / squeaky toys in the bed with us in case I woke up and wanted to play. This morning I was getting ready for work and she kept trying to herd me back to the bedroom. I'm not exactly sure where she learned this, but maybe from Savannah, the huskie we fostered when I was in college. She gets between you and whatever it is you're doing and looks at you, wagging until you back up. If you don't back up fast enough, she barks. And then takes a step forward, until you're effectively walking in the direction she chooses. Every time I walked into the bedroom she would hop up on the bed and lay down, and when I left again she would jump down and give me a very exasperated sigh like 'CLEARLY there's something wrong with you that you don’t want to spend the day napping with my toys.' The kicker was when I was in the shower she made a nest with the clothes I had just ironed, rocketed snot all over my shirt and then lay down on them. Like 'you think you're going to work, don't you. Cute, human. really cute.' so I was late because I had to find a snot-free getup and then iron it. Cam is taking her to the vet for her next-to-last palliative treatment today, she apparently has doggie friends there, rumor even has it that she LICKED ANOTHER FEMALE DOG ON THE NOSE AND SNUGGLED WITH HER which I find amazing because we can't get within 35 feet of another dog, regardless of gender, without Honey acting like a land shark and trying to eat someone's face. I guess the sedative the vets uses really works.....

one year, three weeks out of radiation and still ALL CLEAR!

Honey had her last set of xrays last week, and I took the morning off work to go to the vet with her, the boyfriend and the boyfriend’s sister, who was visiting for spring break. Her lungs were still all clear, and the lump I found the week before wound up being fatty tissue and not a tumor – this makes her a full year out of radiation and still in stasis – no progression. I seriously almost hugged the vet techs. And I’m fairly sure the vet thinks I’m nuts. I directed him to this lump, on her belly and slightly smaller around than a dine, and he was surprised I’d noticed it while it was still so small. I told him I do weekly full-body dog inspections.

So the boyfriend’s sister got here last Saturday for a weeklong stay. Literally the first thing that happened was our downstairs neighbors started world war 3, and at 5 am were chasing each other around in the middle of the street screaming at each other. The first legible words we caught were “you sent naked pictures of yourself to a married American man!! You have two weeks to get your shit out and I never want to talk to you again!” None of us could figure out why it mattered that this guy was American (the neighbors are too, so it really makes ZERO sense) but after about an hour we called the cops. And then we called them the next night, and the one after…. But by Tuesday night he apparently had a new girlfriend, so we had a whole other range of noises to listen to. I’ve taken to moving chairs around on the non-carpeted areas of our living room every morning before I make coffee. So I think we all finally slept for a few nights, and then at 3 am Thursday night our toilet randomly started flushing.. And didn’t stop for about 45 minutes. I guess that’s better than it backing up, but again, no sleeping. Plus there was an early morning vet trip and my usual ‘omg Honey’s going to be sick’ flip out. Poor kid, it couldn’t have been a very cool spring break.

Honey did flip out when the bf’s sister left to fly back to Florida. It was my fault, we left her at home and took luggage for the airport trip, but I figured she’d chill out by that evening. Nope, she was still totally convinced that we had lost a pack member. Honestly, that dog is never happier than when we have overnight guests, she gets to move from bed to bed and lick lots of faces. Its quite cute, she just gets really nervous when they leave. I can’t wait for bf’s WEEKLONG trip to NY to lecture……. I’ll have to lay in a supply of nonperishable foods so I don’t starve, cause you KNOW I can’t leave her alone for a trip to the grocery store.

The weekend in naps

Napping on 'bill' my stuffed dog

(I'm truly shocked she hasn't eaten him)

Snoozing on the couch on Saturday

I cannot understand how that's comfortable.

Wonderdog & the 9 Month Checkup

This is an old photo, but I love it.


I never really realize how worried I am about things until they're over. Honey goes in every 3 months for chest xrays and a checkup at her oncologist, and every time I get all flipped out. I think I've slept a total of 9 hours this week. Her appointment was Monday but we had a dead battery so it got pushed to today. This had the added advantage of letting my blood pressure increase for another 4 days. The boy took her in without me 'cause I had bunches of stuff to do at work, but he just called and not only did she weigh in at 58 pounds (from an all-time low of 42.5 in the throws of radiation side - effects) but her lungs are STILL CLEAR, and the lump we found on her side is a “fatty mass” which is a pretty gross thought but also way better than anything else it could have been. Her eye, which had started looking particularly nasty within the last few days, isn’t a retinal detachment or bleed, she cut her cornea scratching. They gave her some antibiotics and sent her hone with the ‘all clear’. The only downside is that since radiation she’s become downright mean to other dogs. I think it’s a combination of her knowing she’s not in great shape, her vision loss, and her insane level of spoiled that’s only increased since she got sick (prime example was last night, when we wanted to go to bed but she was laying across ALL our pillows, so instead of moving her, we each found about 6 inches of headspace and just toughed it out). I’ve never been happier than right now with my lumpy fat injured mean dog.



I do have some bad news. One of our neighbors had a dog named Smoke who was a rescue and about as spoiled as Honey. He died this week. He didn’t seem to have any real major health problems, but he was an older dog. He always used to lean against my legs or nuzzle me, and was one of the 2 or 3 dogs Honey would let near me without trying to eat. I’ve been told that one day Honey will die too, and it’s something I can’t think about without tears.

I just figured out you can add pictures....

This is like a hundred years old, no gray hair even. Im my parents house in Tallahassee, Fl.

Honeydog in her favorite baby blanket in our apartment in Jacksonville, around 2004.

Honey and the late, great Champion in my truck in the Aapalachicola National Forest. 2003-ish

On the beach in Jacksonville, 2005 just after we moved there. She used to like to bark at the surfers, and knew a few of them. Dogs aren't allowed off leash on jax beach :(

Here is a teensy selection of photos of my Honeydog. She started radiation today and I haven't seen her since Cameron picked her up from the vet but I've been told she's snoozing on our bed and getting coddled, which I don't doubt. My plan for this evening is to cook and be near my doggiegirl.

First experience with snow, inCouldcroft, NM in 2006. She tried to eat it.

Honey and I in the Painted Desert, winter 2006 moving to LA roadtrip. it was the 100 year anniversary of the park, and we werethe only people there. they let Honey come in and share apple cider and sugar cookies they had as part of the celebration. There is a view from one of the mountains in the park that's 130 miles.

Honey on the beach in Santa Barbara in 2006 or early '07, the first time she was in the Pacific ocean. We finished our cross-country trip, Jacksonville to Los Angeles, in 6 days, then the next weekend we went to the dog beach in Santa Barbara.

This is Lyle Lovett Honeydog "on her way through Houston, headed for L.A." in my truck.

Piggy Hun

I’m going to start calling Honey 'piggy' because she snorts when she breathes now. I was up all night again holding her lip up (see lovely image) so she can breathe through her mouth, which is something she won’t do on her own. So unless she’s playing, and therefore panting, or lying on her side next to me while I prop her lip up and try not to move and wake her up, she still tries to breathe through her nose, which is completely occluded and therefore impossible. Poor baby. She also really (really) likes it when I rub her nose / face / neck, so I’ve been doing that a lot. Fortunately, we have a cable subscription that includes like 10 movie channels, so I was watching movies (Father of the Bride parts 1 and 2, Anastasia, Harry Potter 4, and Robin Hood Men in Tights) all night instead of infomercials on Lifetime. Cameron had the morning off so I went to the grocery store and I’m planning on making chili and then banana bread. I wanted Cameron to take a loaf of it to the oncologist with Honey tomorrow, but I’m thinking maybe I should send something prepackaged instead? When I worked in the public library insane people used to bake things and bring them to us, and we always threw them away (I know that sounds awful, but they also brought us dead seagulls and used hypodermic needles, so it really wasn't overly dramatic). I remember this one guy brought me fried chicken. Absurd. Anyways, on our first visit to the cancer ver I told them that she had a low tolerance to pain meds that “she must have inherited from me” and produced a chronologically-organized folder of all her medical records, including receipts, from the papers I signed at the pound when I was adopting her to the most recent, and had a corresponding notebook I had my questions for the vet outlined in, and took notes in while we talked (in different colored ink, so I could track who said what) so I’m fairly sure they already think I’m a wacko, but hopefully if I send baked goods they won’t think I’m a loon / crazed killer, because tomorrow is the 8th anniversary of the day I adopted Honey, and I’m encouraged that she’ll be starting treatment on that date. Also, I have a really kickass recipe for banana bread, and I'm grateful that those people do what they do, because without them she would have no chance.



On another note, I’m compiling some of the sources I used while I was researching canine chondrosarcoma. Most of the stuff I could find online was really old, from around 2000 or 2001, and the oncologist didn’t have any journal articles or current research on hand. It doesn’t help that my passwords from college to their knowledge base have expired and I can’t log in and search there. Here are a few of the REPUTABLE sources I have found:

The Merck Veterinary Manual:
http://www.merckvetmanual.com/mvm/index.jsp
standard book for vets, searchable online and current.

Entrez Pubmed:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/PubMed/
Pubmed was developed by the National Library of Medicine as a free resource for doctors worldwide, and the standard language is English. It’s pretty clunky to search, especially if you haven’t had exposure to it before, but it frequently includes research into canine and other animal conditions as well as those of humans. I once found a study of the long term effects of woman aged 18 – 24 who took Maxalt, a migraine medicine I had just been prescribed. It was great.

Chondrosarcoma Support Group:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Chondrosarcoma/


Remember, if you’re searching for medical information to not look just that the date at the bottom on the webpage, that reflects the update date, not necessarily the age of the information. The first article found on Google about Chondrosarcoma in dogs was from 2000, and terribly outdated. Also, Chondrosarcoma is good for comparative medicine, as it has many of the same characteristics in different species.