OMG - we have fetchitude!

Cameron's parents and sister came to visit us from Florida and got here today, they called to say they were out front and we took Honey out to meet them on the sidewalk. She was sort of half whacked out and didn't want to come outside, we had to coax her, but as soon as she saw Nancy, Barry and Tybee she flipped out, wagging and wiggling, and we came back inside where Honey proceeded to nap, demand pets and fetch, and LICKED US ALL which she hasn't done in days. Today she also ate a whole can of dog food and two cans of baby food, with some rice baby cereal mixed in for texture. Tybee and I went and picked up takeout, and Honey came along for the ride and was totally fine in the car while we waited for the food.

I was worried that seeing Honey would freak everyone out, but she got petted and snuggled and brushed and kissed, and it made an incredible difference in her attitude, I’m sure because she loves them so much. We’re so lucky to have such loving doggie grandparents. Also, I think there’s little place on her lip that’s actually healing, but I guess the vet will tell us when we go in for our one week post radiation checkup tomorrow morning. I’m not anxious to see what she weighs, three weeks ago she was eating a can of food for breakfast and then asking for lunch and dinner, so although I’m really excited about the eating of the whole can, it’s not enough for her to start putting weight back on.

Her shaman healer gave me some stuff to spry in my mouth to sleep, because I guess he could tell I’m not (average is about 3.5 hours a night, and 6 months ago I was horribly cranky if I got less than 8) and I used it and was seriously out. So my big plan for the night is to find my sweatpants and fall asleep with Honey while Cameron plays video games.

Lip-propinazation (I just made that word up. Just now. Really)

I mention ‘the lip prop’ on this blog a lot, but I haven’t posted a picture of its exact usage. Let me remedy that. The ones pictured here are made from a piece of a gardener’s knee pad (thick foam) that I got at Home Depot. I cut a piece about an inch wide and five inches long, then folded the foam in half and stitched it so it makes a V shape. It works well because it’s not hard, so it doesn’t irritate her gums or lips, like hard plastic could, and the V shape creates enough pressure that we can wedge it and it provides some traction, unlike the plastic cork, which fell out of its own accord.










We ran out of anti-nausea meds yesterday morning, and the vet is going to see how she does without them. I really hope she will be ok – I hate to think that she’s uncomfortable. And she won’t eat when her stomach is upset. I’m also worried that if she gets nauseous and stops eating, she will have to be put on steroids, and I’m holding out on those as long as possible.

Today was my first day as member of the chondrosarcoma support group, and I got a few emails form people who have it. One was from the mother of a boy who died, and it broke my heart. I’ve been trying to gloss over the bad parts of this, not read stats I don’t like, etc, focus on her ‘cancer buddies’ at the vet. I’ve been told that there’s no change of truly beating this. The vet said that they “can never actually cure cancer” and I’m trying to ignore that. I know if I get down and sad that Honey can sense it, and right now she’s not doing too badly – she sounds like she’s rooting for truffles every time she inhales, but that’s easy enough to laugh at, especially when she’s sticking a ball in my face or licking my ears every five minutes. She also hasn’t had any of the symptoms listed as being hallmarks of this cancer, like nosebleeds and dizziness. It’s really tough to keep the bad news separate from the good, and to focus on the happiness.

On a lighter note, I actually SLEPT last night. Granted, I spelt in our closet (it’s a walk in, chill out, its not that bad) with ear plugs in and I took some benadryl. So maybe I just went into a sensory-depravation coma. Tonight we’re going to cook dinner, drink wine, and play fetch. It’s going to be wonderful. Happy Valentines Day!!

Honey, would you like some fresh arugula?

Honey a few weeks ago, passed out ->

I can’t believe how much writing here is helping me figure stuff out. It’s like two pieces of complimentary information wait until I sit down with a blank word document to attach to each other and all of a sudden, the world is a little more logical. Today’s case in point: apparently Honey needs more fiber in her diet. The vet said we could either give her extra vegetables and fruits or we could put her on a supplement. As soon as I wrote that down and started mentally preparing a list of the foliage I was going to offer her this evening I remembered that she’s been trying to eat grass lately. She used to do this when she was younger, and I was told by our vet in Tallahassee that it was fine as long as she wasn’t throwing it up. She wasn’t, and the grass wasn’t poisonous, so I let her go to town. Here it’s a little different – we live in the middle of Los Angeles and it rains like four times a year. There is NO WAY that grass is clean enough to eat, so I haven’t let her. Those two little tidbits may never have met up if I wasn’t recording everything here.

Now the problem becomes how to get her to actually eat the greenery – maybe she will because she knows her body needs it, but if we have to convince her to do so I think its going to come down to like sauteeing spinach in hot fish oil or some other substance so smelly that it’ll seep into the paint, because the dog can’t smell. Fetch has even changed – she can’t tell which ball (of the 8 matching balls always on the floor) I just threw, or which she had in her mouth last. So she will be determinedly trying to get behind a bookcase, convinced the ball is just out of reach, when the one she’s searching for is at her feet. She’s being an amazingly good sport about it though, I’ve heard stories about cats getting declawed and losing their minds, and I can’t imagine losing SMELL can be less traumatic for a dog, and although it has been happening gradually I expected some personality change. There hasn’t been one, except maybe she sleeps on me a little more, but that’s totally fine by me. On another note, I’m still a terrible juggler but as soon as I pick up three balls there’s suddenly a dog at attention in front of me madly wagging her tail.

<- Honey (at 55lbs) with Thor (weighing significantly more), her big German Shepherd, at the Miccosukee Greenways park in like 2003

Saturday 02/02/08

Last night we figured the sleeping thing out. Since she won’t or can’t breathe out of her mouth, and hasn’t been sleeping, we were dealing with a lethargic honeydog who made some truly horrible and pathetic noises trying to breathe through blocked nasal passages. So Thursday night Cameron discovered that if you pulled her lip up she could breathe out the side of her mouth and actually get some (much needed) air, and therefore sleep. It was really sad; she was so exhausted that if you gave her a totally open airway while she was standing, she would almost fall asleep on her feet. So yesterday I worked from home and when I knocked off for the day around six I rubbed her ears with some lavender oil (aromatherapy for sleepy) and then held her lip up, and she immediately fell into this deep twitchy sleep. Sometimes her tongue would get in the way of her breathing, and she was so out I could put my finger in her mouth and move her jaw/tongue around so she had an airway and it didn’t wake her up. So we spent about three hours yesterday evening sleeping like that, and then played for a while and then went to bed the same way. She figured out exactly what I was trying to do and is now not only letting me stick fingers near her mouth (normally she HATES that) but also requesting it. So that’s what we did yesterday, how we all (finally) got some sleep last night, and that’s all we’ve done so far today. She clenches her jaw when she sleeps, so that’s why she wouldn’t (couldn’t? I can’t believe that anyone is that stubborn – even her) open her mouth before, and would have probably have to either be drugged to the gills or passed out to actually do it. She’ll sleep for about 2 hours then wake up and demand some food, we’ve started putting warm water on her food so she can smell it and its not so hard in her mouth on the biopsy site, want a massage, bring me the ball, then back to sleep. It also seems like the anti-inflammatories are starting to help her breathe as well, as she seems to be able to breathe a little better out her nose.

Anyways, the water was out in the building when I woke up this morning but it looks like its back on, and I’ve watched like four episodes of Antiques Roadshow, where people seem to get values on how ugly things are – “oh, it’s hideous. Insure it for around $5,000” also, who buys that stuff? I remember one episode where this lady had what she thought was a decorated salad bowl and it turned out to be a ceremonial hat form some completely eradicated Inuit tribe, and was worth more then I’ll make in a lifetime. I’m waiting for someone to respond to the appraiser’s value with “wanna buy it?” that’s totally what I’d do.

An orange ball just appeared in my lap. It seems it's playtime. Since we actually got her to sleep, we have our Honey back.